Why Man and Woman Matter in Marriage

2015 Supreme Court Justices

This week, we read the Supreme Court ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) relating to same-sex marriage and rights being violated according to the fourteenth amendment.  I’m not totally sure I understand the exact argument but it all boils down to a group of gay people who were married in states or tried to get licenses to marry but were turned away and/or not recognized for their choice in partner. I know this subject is a touchy subject for many and a hot button for debate. My thoughts are not to inflict pain on any one person or group. I know that people have the right to believe and act according to their beliefs and hope that my beliefs would be respected in return. 

For me, marriage is between a man and a woman, to love and support each other in the nurturing and teaching of their children. This can only be done in the bonds of marriage. God designed our bodies and natures to compliment each other. Men and woman are each equipped to take on certain aspects of parenthood and marriage. Nothing hurts the heart more than hearing someone say that they don’t need a man or a woman (depending on their own sex) in their life to be complete. Heavenly Father did not design us to be alone. However, He also did not design us to be with someone of the same sex. Heavenly Father design sacred roles for each sex. We can cover for a little while should the need arise, each other’s role but we will fall short of the designed plan and goals that would be accomplished were we to be with someone of the opposite sex. 

I love my husband very much and he does complete me. I fall short in many areas and he is there to help pick up the pieces and make it better. He fulfills his roles as husband and father in the ways Heavenly Father intended them to be and there is no way I could ever imagine having to be both mother and father to my children.

This weeks lesson has opened my eyes to many things. I have nothing but respect for people fighting for their rights and trying to get the law to recognize what they want. I believe everyone should love and be loved. But I don’t want to be told that the way I believe is wrong and feel attacked for those beliefs. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in The Articles of Faith (no. 11) “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” This means a lot to me and helps me to remember that I need to respects other in their beliefs and much as I want to be respected, especially since this a belief held by The Church as a whole. 

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has this to say:

"Inevitably, the actions of those who try to follow God’s plan of salvation can cause misunderstanding or even conflict with family members or friends who do not believe its principles. … 

Whatever the cause of conflict with those who do not understand or believe God’s plan, those who do understand are always commanded to choose the Lord’s way instead of the world’s way. 

The gospel plan each family should follow to prepare for eternal life and exaltation is outlined in the Church’s 1995 proclamation, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” Its declarations are, of course, visibly different from some current laws, practices, and advocacy of the world in which we live. …
I testify that the proclamation on the family is a statement of eternal truth, the will of the Lord for His children who seek eternal life. It has been the basis of Church teaching and practice for the last 22 years and will continue so for the future. Consider it as such, live by it, and you will be blessed."

References:

Obergefell v. Hodges (Supreme Court of the United States, 2015)

Oaks, Dallin H. ( September 2017). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Talk Summaries. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/talk-summaries-saturday-morning?lang=eng

When Marriage Matters...

https://www.quotemaster.org/qcf9871a472d32e48defe59aff89250b9

     Looking back on my life, I don’t remember a lot of families different than my own; two-parent families raising children together under one roof. I can actually only count a few friends that I remember being raised in a single parent family. But as I look around today as I raise my children, many of my friends and my children’s friends’ families are raising children in single-parent families or in other situations like cohabitation. Marriage has taken on different forms in the world’s view and it is having strong consequences on our families as well as the world as a whole.

     In an article I read entitled, “The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation,” Paul Amato sets out to addressing three issues; children and their overall well-being in today’s changing families, marking the difference between changing families versus traditional families, and getting the government to set policies in which to strengthen marriages rather than penalize them.

     What stood out in Amato’s article was not only was he addressing the issues and challenges faced by families and communities, but he presented solutions. He supported his ideas with numbers and studies that explained what families are going through and then he came up with ways the government could set policy to support them and best equip them. He truly wants people to understand the importance of raising children in a home with two happy, committed adults.

     One thing I learned growing up was that disharmony in a family comes from selfishness. Something that has helped me, not only in my marriage but in many other relationships, is to seek opportunities to serve. Many times when I have felt angry or disappointment when something hasn’t gone the way I expected in a relationship. By seeking opportunities to serve, I have felt the burden of those emotions be lifted from my heart. As we learn to focus more outwardly rather than inwardly, we can help strengthen our family and our marriages more by finding ways in which to serve them. I truly believe that the more we emulate this in our families, the more our children will do those things within our families and the happier they will be because home is a happy place for them to be.

References:

Amato, P. R. (2005). The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation. The Future of Children, Volume 15 (2), pp. 75-96.