Strengthening Marriage

In the Book of Mormon in the book of Mosiah chapter 3 verse 19, it reads, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” 

In our marriages, we are more apt to be ourselves without the facade that we tend to give the outside world. We are harder on those we see on an everyday basis. It wasn’t too long ago that I shared this very thing in our own family because of children that were fighting. I also shared that many General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have taught how we should give our best selves to the world and our families but more so to our families. We shouldn’t go out in the world and then come back with only leftovers for our families. They deserve more. Our spouses, especially, deserve our best and not what is left at the end of the day. 

I know this is a hard thing to put into action. It hasn’t been easy for me and still isn’t easy. I have to work at it every day because I tend to let my human nature run wild. Many years ago, as I talked with a cousin of mine about some marriage stress, she helped me realize that if I would just ask myself what part I played in an argument, I might find a solution a lot quicker. There are always two sides of an argument. The sooner I realize the role I played, the sooner I could correct my actions because the only person I have control over to change is myself. 

One thing I also learned over the years I have been married is that the best way for me to feel better about my husband is to find ways to serve him. This helped many years ago when he was working full time and trying to get his bachelors degree. We had three of our four children at the time and I also worked part-time to try to supplement our starving student budget. Because of my husband’s long hours away from the home, much of the family and household chores fell on me. There were many nights when I could use the help of my husband. However, I knew that complaining would not change what needed to be done nor support my husband in the goals we had set together. Those were tough times. Rather than wallow in those crazy times, I learned to find ways to not only meet the demands of my household but to also provide a little service to my husband because what he was doing wasn’t easy either. There were many times that exhaustion got the better of me but for those moments I truly sought better ways, I could feel my love for my husband strengthen.