My Application

Tonight, our family read "Nephi's Psalm" from 2 Nephi 4. About a year ago, I read a book where the author, when she was speaking somewhere or was a leader in her ward, gave everyone the challenge to write their own psalm. When I read her experience (and those of others), I decided I would write my own psalm patterned after Nephi's. So, here it is:

"O fickled woman that I am! Yea, I keep doing stupid things like being hard on myself and uncertain of my abilities and talents. I'm surrounded by temptations like reality TV and Internet websites that aren't bad but zap away precious moments better spent preparing lessons or helping my children with their chores now that mine are done for the day. And I'm sorry that I don't seem stronger, that I sometimes give in. And when I desire to rejoice and finally get started on those scrapbooks that have piles in the corner, I find myself getting frustrated with the fact that I put it off for so long and my inadequacies.

However, there have been many times I prayed and received strength and support from my God. I remember receiving help from my Heavenly Father one time when I was extremely frustrated after a rough day of an unruly child. I was not the kind of mother I wanted to be but I turned in prayer to find that through Him, tomorrow is a new day and the change to be that mother again. He has blessed me with great children who, in their ways, have shown that they are listening. He has blessed me with a wonderful, supportive husband who love me in spite of me. He has blessed me with many great friends who I have quickly numbered as my family. They have come to mean so much as I have learned how to be a better person from each of them.

He blesses me so much that I shouldn't get weighed down with something as silly as the kitchen floor that hasn't been swept in days or that my skin isn't as perfect as I would like it to be. He has guided me in my callings, He has comforted me in my loses and I know He has rejoiced when I have stretched beyond what I thought I was capable of.

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart. I WILL NOT GIVE UP TRYING! I will not get down on myself or give up because another activity, lesson or spiritual moment didn't go as I thought it should. I will not give up on my righteous goal of reading the Relief Society lesson just because they only one I can bounce my thoughts off is my sweet, patient husband. I will not give up on my closest friends who have strayed from the light because I know they need the warmth of the light just as much as I do. If the Lord has helped me before, then I trust that He will help me now! I will lift up my voice unto my God in prayer because I know He answers prayers. I will pray fro more faith, humility, and strength as I accept this new calling in the face of ever increasing turbulent world. I will pray for guidance, answers and blessings but most of all, I will never quit praying for help. Amen."

I wrote this shortly after I was called to be our ward's Young Women's President (hence the mention of calling). I was feeling a little overwhelmed with magnitude of what I was about to face (as I wasn't sustained by that point). A year later, I still feel overwhelmed from time to time but I know that Heavenly Father has truly blessed me with strength. I have seen growth in our efforts and I have seen growth in myself. The interesting thing though is that the more growth I have seen or experienced, the stronger the challenges seem. Very interesting!

Keep the faith and endure to the end!